


An Unexpected Delivery

by The_Bentley



Series: BT Tower Telephone Group I [7]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Bottom Aziraphale (Good Omens), Butt Plugs, Comedy, Dirty Talk, Foreplay, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), M/M, Seduction, Sex Toys, Smut, Top Crowley (Good Omens), bickerflirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:08:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26648800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Bentley/pseuds/The_Bentley
Summary: Bzzzzt!“What was that?” asked Crowley.“Um . . . the package . . .” [said Aziraphale.]“What isinthere?  Open it up.”A naughty package misdelivered to the bookshop leads to dirty talk and some shenanigans.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: BT Tower Telephone Group I [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1937917
Comments: 16
Kudos: 91
Collections: Top Crowley Library





	1. The Submitted Fic

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [slyther](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26662780) by [glitterandtrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterandtrash/pseuds/glitterandtrash). 



> This is part of the BT Tower Telephone Challenge that started with a prompt and built from there, but we only had the redacted work of the person in front of us to go from. Click on the series for more information and to see all the works in -- fics and art. I got a fuzzy, barred picture of what looked like Crowley and Aziraphale in the Bentley with Aziraphale holding something glowing purple. This is what I came up with. Please don't shoot me. 😁 
> 
> I had a limited amount of time to write this. We technically had 48 hours, but something came up in my life after I got the redacted drawing from glitterandtrash who came before me, so I did it in about ten and it's a bit rough. We also were asked to keep it around 1000 words, but I wrote about 300 more than that and ended up having to cut a lot of details, leaving this somewhat choppy. The full thing is posted as Chapter 2.

“What’s with the package?” asked Crowley as Aziraphale got into the Bentley.

“It was delivered here by accident. I’d like to take it to the Post Office so it can get shipped on to where it’s supposed to go.”

“All right. We can do that before dinner.”

He took off at his usual break-neck speed, causing the package to fall off Aziraphale’s lap onto the floor. Aziraphale picked it up back and brushed it off.

“There’s a Post Office over on . . .”

_Bzzzzt!_

“What was that?” asked Crowley.

“Um . . . the package . . .”

“What is _in_ there? Open it up.”

“No, we cannot open someone’s mail! That’s illegal.”

“Like I can’t make it look perfect again.” 

Crowley fumbled left-handedly to grab it out of Aziraphale’s hand. The Bentley swerved into the next lane, causing Aziraphale to yelp as it narrowly missed another car.

“Watch the road!”

“I want to see!”

Unable to get a hold of it, Crowley snapped his fingers instead. The box flew open and a purple glow emitted from it. Aziraphale picked up the clear plastic package inside containing a vibrating bulb lit by LEDs. 

“Oh, good lord!” He quickly dropped it back in the box.

Crowley about doubled over with laughter, which earned him an irritated look from Aziraphale. Still chuckling, Crowley put the package back the way he found it, placating Aziraphale, who had never been so happy to get a simple cardboard box out of his life. Although Crowley did keep giggling about it on and off until they reached the restaurant. An hour later, they were seated outside in the nice weather at a quaint café they had discovered. They had eaten a wonderful meal, had a nice conversation and were now finishing up dessert. Or Aziraphale had finished his dessert and was working his way through Crowley’s uneaten portion if one wanted to be more accurate about it.

“You’re curious about it, aren’t you?” asked Crowley while he watched the sun dip below the horizon.

“Yes, I am,” admitted Aziraphale as he popped the last bite of Crowley’s cake in his mouth. “I’ve never used a butt plug before.”

“Oh, you sweet summer angel. So guileless. I guess that’s why I’m here. Someone needs to corrupt you,” teased Crowley.

“You act like I know nothing. There did use to be a sex shop next to my bookshop, you know. I’m _not_ naive.” 

“It was funny watching you drop it like it was on fire.”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes. “I can’t imagine having something that lights up in _there_. It must look ridiculous.”

“Too bad angels don’t have halos. You could glow at both ends.” 

“Crowley!”

Grinning, Crowley scooted his chair so it was up next to Aziraphale’s and slid a hand over onto his thigh. Leaning in close, he snapped his fingers to stop time. They were transported outside it to an empty patio just like where they were sitting moments before. Crowley could now have a little amusement seducing Aziraphale without acting inappropriately in front of others. 

“Think about us having some fun,” Crowley whispered in his ear. “First, I’ll remove every article of clothing you’re wearing so I can admire you, my gorgeous angel. And you know how much I love kissing you. I’ll start up top and work my way down until I’m surrounding your cock and balls with them. That’s such sweet torture, isn’t it?”

His hand traced over the top of Aziraphale’s thigh. Aziraphale bit his lower lip. Crowley chuckled to himself because he loved winding him up.

“I’ll caress them a bit, but no blow job. I believe it would be more fun to have you bent over the bed with that lovely arse all exposed. Think of the things I could do. Oh, wait. We have a new sex toy. A nice little butt plug.”

Aziraphale swallowed. “Would you use one on me if I wanted you to?”

“Yes, I would if you asked me to. Let’s say that you do since this is hypothetical. So, I slide the butt plug into your arse. It’s going to feel different than my cock. Heavier. You might feel fuller because of its shape. And it’s a vibrating one. Let’s make it a vibrating one I have a remote control to.”

“You’d be controlling it?” Aziraphale was starting to flush.

Crowley licked his earlobe before he continued. Aziraphale shuddered in response as his breath hitched.

“Heh, it’ll be fun watching you squirm. So what do you think you can handle before it completely drives you over the edge and you come, angel? Do you think you’d last long? How many times could I get you to come by dialling the speed up and back down? I’ll be like a kid in a candy store, you know. Will you do that cute little wiggle you do when you really want it?”

“I don’t wiggle.”

“You do. I love a wiggly angel bum. In tartan undercrackers.”

Aziraphale huffed, but his dilated pupils told Crowley he was very turned on.

“What do you think? I’m sure I could wish up a vibrating butt plug to use on you and we can have fun. Do you want to explore with sex toys, angel?”

“Yes, I do, despite your attempts at ruining the mood with jokes.” 

“Ok, I’m restarting time.” Crowley snapped his fingers once more.

They both waved to get a nearby server’s attention, saying at the same time, “Bill, please!”

That trip was the fastest Crowley had ever sped back to the bookshop. Before long the two of them were upstairs, their clothing scattered all over the floor of the tiny flat’s bedroom. Crowley almost laughed to think a misdelivered package had led to sex. 

A miracled-up butt plug fitting Crowley’s description sat waiting on the nightstand. With a grin, Crowley bent Aziraphale over the bed with gentle hands. Caressing him from nape of neck to small of back one last time, he picked up the plug and showed it to his partner before doing anything else.

“Ready?”

“Yes.”

“All right, angel. Bottoms up!”


	2. Original Piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the entire fic I wrote before I cut it down to fit within the guidelines of the game.

“What’s with the package?” asked Crowley as Aziraphale got into the Bentley.

“It was delivered here by accident. I’d like to take it to the Post Office so it can get shipped on to where it’s supposed to go.”

Used to small inconveniences like this, Crowley muttered under his breath. “All right. We can do that before dinner.”

Putting the Bentley in gear, he pulled out into traffic, missing an oncoming vehicle by a hair’s breadth. Pressing the gas pedal to the floor, he took off at his usual break-neck speed, causing the package to fall off Aziraphale’s lap onto the floor. Aziraphale picked it up back and brushed it off, doing his best to ignore Crowley’s usual speed demon habits.

“There’s a Post Office over on . . .”

_Bzzzzt!_

“What was that?” asked Crowley, turning his head to gaze at the cardboard box buzzing away in Aziraphale’s lap.

“Um . . . the package . . .”

“What is _in_ there? Open it up.”

“No, we cannot open someone’s mail! That’s illegal.”

“Like I can’t make it look perfect again.” 

Crowley fumbled left-handedly to grab it out of Aziraphale’s hand. The Bentley swerved into the next lane, causing Aziraphale to yelp as it narrowly missed another car. The angel scrambled to hang on to the box as he reprimanded his partner.

“Watch the road!”

“I want to see!” Crowley cried as Aziraphale twisted sideways to keep the package out of Crowley’s reach.

Unable to get a hold of it, Crowley snapped his fingers instead. The box flew open and a purple glow emitted from it, piquing both their curiosities. Aziraphale picked up the clear plastic package inside containing a vibrating bulb lit by violet LEDs. 

“Oh, good lord!” He quickly dropped it back in the box, a blush creeping across his angelic face.

Glancing at the commotion out of the corner of his eye, Crowley about doubled over with laughter, which earned him an irritated look from Aziraphale. Still chuckling, Crowley put the package back the way he found it, placating Aziraphale, who had never been so happy to get a simple cardboard box out of his life. Although Crowley did keep giggling about it on and off until they reached the restaurant, much to Aziraphale’s annoyance. 

An hour or so later, they were seated outside in the nice weather at a quaint café they had discovered. They had eaten a wonderful meal, had a nice conversation and were now finishing up dessert. Or Aziraphale had finished his dessert and was working his way through Crowley’s uneaten portion if one wanted to be more accurate about it. Crowley had no objections since a couple of bites of the overly sweet cake were enough to satisfy him.

“You’re curious about it, aren’t you?” he asked while he watched the sun dip below the horizon.

“Yes, I am,” admitted Aziraphale as he popped the last bite of Crowley’s cake in his mouth. “I’ve never used a butt plug before.”

“Oh, you sweet summer angel. So guileless. I guess that’s why I’m here. Someone needs to corrupt you,” teased Crowley.

“You act like I know nothing. There did use to be a sex shop next to my bookshop, you know. I’m _not_ naive.” 

“It was funny watching you drop it like it was on fire.”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes. “I can’t imagine having something that lights up in _there_. It must look ridiculous. What is the point?”

Crowley snorted at the thought of Aziraphale sporting a glowing purple butt plug and found he could not keep his mouth shut about it. “Too bad angels don’t have halos. You could glow at both ends.” 

“Crowley!”

Grinning, Crowley scooted his chair so it was up next to Aziraphale’s and slid a hand over onto his plump thigh, Aziraphale sucking in a breath as he felt the touch. Leaning in close, Crowley snapped his fingers to stop time. They were transported outside it to an empty patio just like where they were sitting moments before. Crowley could now have a little amusement seducing Aziraphale without acting inappropriately in front of others. 

“Think about us having some fun,” Crowley whispered in his ear. “First, I’ll remove every article of clothing you’re wearing so I can admire you, my gorgeous angel. And you know how much I love kissing you. I’ll start up at the top of your head and work my way down until I’m surrounding your cock and balls with them. That’s such sweet torture, isn’t it?”

His hand traced idly over the top of Aziraphale’s thigh, the angel’s hand gripping the edge of the table as he did. Aziraphale bit his lower lip in anticipation of Crowley’s words. Crowley chuckled to himself because he loved winding him up. There was simply something about watching the angel become more flustered the more Crowley narrated possible sexual adventures to him.

“I’ll caress them a bit, but no blow job. I believe it would be more fun to have you bent over the bed with that lovely arse all exposed. Think of the things I could do. Oh, wait. We have a new sex toy. A nice little butt plug.”

Aziraphale swallowed audibly. “Would you use one on me if I wanted you to?”

“Yes, I would if you asked me to. Let’s say that you do since this is hypothetical. So, I slide the butt plug into your arse. It’s going to feel different than my cock. Heavier. You might feel fuller because of its shape. And it’s a vibrating one. Let’s make it a vibrating one I have a remote control to. What do you think of that? A plug up your arse vibrating away, and I am the one controlling it. I decide the speed even if you’re begging for more. I decide if it's vibrating or sitting there inert just taking up space.”

“You’d be controlling it?” Aziraphale was starting to flush, sweat forming around his temples, the dampness causing the small hairs there to curl more tightly than they were.

Crowley licked his earlobe before he continued, leaving a hot wet trail down it from top to bottom. Aziraphale shuddered in response as his breath hitched.

“Heh, it’ll be fun watching you squirm. So what do you think you can handle before it completely drives you over the edge and you come, angel? Do you think you’d last long? How many times could I get you to come by dialling the speed up and back down? I’ll be like a kid in a candy store, you know. Will you do that cute little wiggle you do when you really want it?”

“I don’t wiggle.”

“You do. I love a wiggly angel bum. In tartan undercrackers. Or out of them. They do look so nice crumpled up on the floor.”

Aziraphale huffed, but his dilated pupils told Crowley he was very turned on.

“What do you think? I’m sure I could wish up a vibrating butt plug to use on you and we can have fun. Do you want to explore with sex toys, angel?”

“Yes, I do, despite your attempts at ruining the mood with jokes.” 

“Ok, I’m restarting time.” Crowley snapped his fingers once more. “I think we need to head home.”

They both waved to get a nearby server’s attention, saying at the same time, “Bill, please!”

It was the fastest Crowley had ever sped back to the bookshop and this time Aziraphale didn't at all mind the death-defying speeds at which they travelled. Before long the two of them had stumbled into the bookshop, frantically kissing and caressing each other as they stumbled as one towards the spiral staircase. It took some finagling, but eventually, they made it upstairs. Pawing at each other in their desire, their clothing ended up scattered all over the floor of the tiny flat’s bedroom. Crowley almost laughed out loud to think a misdelivered package had led to sex while he kissed his way down his angel’s body as he told him he would. 

A miracled-up butt plug fitting Crowley’s description sat waiting on the nightstand, vibrating, remote control and glowing a lovely shade of purple. With a grin, Crowley bent Aziraphale over the bed with gentle hands. Caressing him from nape of neck to small of back one last time, he picked up the plug and showed it to his partner before doing anything else.

“Ready?”

“Yes.”

“All right, angel. Bottoms up!”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Relaxation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26649370) by [Thyra279](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thyra279/pseuds/Thyra279)




End file.
